Today and the Rest of First Semester

Today's a day of celebrations.

I greeted my father a half-hearted Happy father's day. We didn't give him his card...yet. We didn't give him his gift either. We couldn't do it unless ate's here. Not that we're mushy, the four of us--my sister just has the gifts in her possession.

Today is also my parents' 23rd anniversary. My mother tried to bully me into giving them a gift. I told her it was their thing, so don't she get us involved in their emotional matters.

One of the more important marks of today, though (and I don't mean to be self-important), is my acceptance that school has finally arrived.

Last week, I breezed through the first days of classes. I was only half listening--half the time I was thinking of ways to finish the bulk of work I left unfinished this vacation. And, a week after, I don't get to finish it. I'm about 40 articles behind, and the only academic thing I did was to read JK Rowling's speech in Harvard.

Then, I almost found myself on the brink of quitting. I had been doing this for about two years, and yet I'm still here. No more learned and no less naive. But just when I was about to, weird things began to happen. Now, my hands are more than full--and I'm leaving relationships up in the air where they shouldn't be.

So when I woke up, I tucked away one semester's worth of readings, projects, and useless doodles. For a while, I reminisced on how difficult last sem was. What made it even harder was that I everytime I worked, I did so not just for myself--but for a group as well. I guess it takes compassion, to care about other people--even in the form of their grades.

I'm a senior. Last year. The last shot to finally break in. Back in my freshman year, I remember my sister and mother telling me to expect nothing. I wouldn't get the same merits I got in high school. I wouldn't be as brilliant as I thought. Most of all, I shouldn't expect.

I appreciated that, grounding. It sort of broke my heart, but it was the telling I needed to know that everything can change dramatically, drastically.

And yet, weirdly enough, it did--with one glaring exception, though: I was able to do it. Every semester was a struggle I made sure not to expect to win. Until this. Until now. I reached the last two marks. It's still a long shot, but it's a shot worth taking.

Obviously, it goes without saying, I shall be ferocious.