Bygones and Goodbyes

I don't know why I've never had any luck with CRS. It just seems to hate me, denying my requests at least every semester. Now, I am left to do the inevitable: walk in possibly eternally long lines, beg professors to take me in, and just rely on my inherent pa-cute factor. Which, I am proud to say, works almost every time.

I am about to end my internship in Company 1 with a lot of realizations--and a lot of freebies to go home with. I'm not neither sad nor overly happy--the same way I know other people are. I met many interesting and quite amazing personalities, all of whom I will forget in God's time. I quote me and my co-intern's premature goodbye:

B: thanks, ojt partner.
B: ill try not to forget you for some time.
A: aww
A: and eventually
A: forget the face
A: the memories

A lot of opinions, secrets, and thoughts were shared. And I'm happy to have bared them all. She is one of the few persons who sees the world the way I do, and who comes to the same conclusions I usually end with. She is a whiff of fresh air, really.

I don't know where I'm going, really. The future is like, one big blur. But, unlike others, who have this strange notion of a quarter life crisis, I don't feel anything. It's insane, the way you think about all the evil occurrences in the future, and yet feel no sense of aversion toward it.
A: I'm thinking of not proceeding with it, if only to preserve my pride. B: Ano ka ba, you're not not going to pass.


So, yeah, maybe I should trust myself more. Believe in myself a bit more than I do. For now, though, I rest. I rest because I've been killing myself for having no rest at all, literally. I rest because tomorrow, I shall again undergo the same stressful circumstances I've been in for the past days. I rest because, really, I can't do anything but wait for the evil yet unsurprising future. Can I?